Rising Above— After Narcissistic Abuse
In the journey of life, we often encounter challenges that test our strength and resilience. One of the most difficult challenges to overcome is narcissistic abuse, which can leave deep emotional scars and a sense of helplessness. However, despite the darkness of this experience, there is light at the end of the tunnel. With the right guidance and mindset, it is possible to rise above the pain and elevate your spirit to new heights. At times, that will be hard to see as obstacles such as manipulation and gaslighting enter your life and confuse your path.
Narcissistic abuse is a form of psychological manipulation where the abuser seeks to gain power and control over their victim. This can take many forms, including emotional, verbal, and sometimes even physical abuse. The narcissist can be bold in their abuse or more often covert and sneaky. Victims of narcissistic abuse often experience feelings of worthlessness, confusion, and fear. They may struggle to trust others or themselves and may even blame themselves for the abuse they endured. As a victim myself, there were times where I would question my own sanity and feel as though it was me who needed to go get help with my emotions and inability to stand up for myself. The abuser becomes an expert in their tactics of breaking your resolve and finding ways to undermine your confidence in the most sensitive ways. They are masters at deflection and will create an environment where you overcompensate to ensure there is peace and calm waters. It led me to believe that I wasn’t worth anything and I felt silenced and put in the corner. I often describe how I felt as, “my soul felt itchy.” I knew I wasn’t in the right place. I knew this wasn’t how I was supposed to be treated. I knew I needed to escape and be free.
Recovering from narcissistic abuse is a journey that requires courage, self-awareness, and a willingness to heal. It begins with acknowledging the abuse and its impact on your life. This can be a difficult step, as it requires confronting painful memories and emotions. However, it is a crucial first step towards healing and reclaiming your power. It has been said this abuse is the hardest to recover from and I can confirm that. Without support from your family, friends and especially a licensed therapist who specializes in narcissism, it would be downright almost impossible. You must have resilience and strength to fight and reclaim the amazing person you know yourself to be on this inside. You must believe you are worth it. That was the seed I needed to spend the appropriate time to heal and to determine what boundaries I needed to put in place to fortify my ability to awaken my resolve and lay down the foundation to avoid any future run-ins with these types of abusers. I learned that empathetic people attract narcissists due to their innate abilities to understand and validate an insecure, suffering person. I needed to learn how to see that in myself and install the boundaries needed to have compassion but not to succumb to someone who will take your good nature and destroy it. Additionally, practicing self-care and self-compassion can help you rebuild your sense of self-worth and confidence.
One of the most empowering aspects of recovering from narcissistic abuse is the opportunity to redefine yourself and your life on your own terms. By setting boundaries and honoring your needs and desires, you can begin to create a life that is true to who you are. This process is not always easy, and there may be setbacks along the way. However, by staying true to yourself and your values, you can conquer your mountains and emerge stronger than ever before.
Remember, healing from narcissistic abuse is a journey, not a destination. It is okay to take things one step at a time and to be gentle with yourself along the way. By embracing your strength and resilience, you can rise above the pain of the past and create a future that is filled with love, joy, and empowerment.